“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”- maria robinson.

Well... on that note, I suppose I could say that I feel better. I think my hormones have taken over my thought process this past week because I was really negative. I feel better today though. I hung out with Freddie and Rachael and played the game of things which is hilarious. I guess I needed some friend time to lift my spirits. I got to talk to Lea Ann for the first time in months. I much enjoyed that. I went to Craft Auction, oh that wasn't awkward at all... (insert dripping sarcasm). I ignored Victoria and Sammikins. It was really obnoxious and just made me appreciate that I am not friends with Sammi anymore. I'm sad that I dont have a great relationship with my little, if she ever decided hey I want to be friends, I'd totally be there, but I just dont see that ever happening. C'est le vie!

I've been really thinking about moving to the beach with Joanna. I have nothing here to hold me back. I dont think I would stay if anyone asked me to, what for? My life isn't here, atleast I dont feel like it is, not anymore. My mom wants to move to California soon and I feel like I should everything I can to help do that. She deserves it, she's worked so hard her whole life and I feel like by getting myself out of this popsicle stand, that I'd be doing her a favor.

I'm writing this at work and I just saw Bumblebee outside in the parking lot (the camero from Transformers) park behind mine which things like that are perfect reminders of why I should leave. Anything that has to do with my past, I want to leave. I mostly want to just run away. I hate it here because it's just too painful to live thru anymore. Atleast this is another approach I haven't tried before, moving away and all.

on a more positive, touching note... I was on the phone the other night with Katherine, my mini me, who I wish I could see more often, and she pretty much told me how she will always look up to me and always has and that I'm just like the best thing that's ever happened to her. I was driving home, shame on me considering I gave up talking on the phone for Lent, but I almost started to cry. It was something that I definitly welcomed hearing, I mean after feeling like I could never please anyone, here's one person who thinks I've never done anything wrong and tells me I could do no wrong.

I feel like that was my saving grace, atleast for the rest of the week, that and maybe the large lemonade I got from Panera on my lunch break today ( with my gift card!)

So, there's a more positive note.