The End is Really The Beginning.

Some days... I really can't understand what God's how plan is for me. I then remind myself that I'm probably better off not trying to understand what the plan is...I feel a lot better after that.

So Mom has not moved yet, she's packed a lot of stuff up. I've pretty much moved into my apartment but I have yet to stay more than a night because I'm a wuss and because I'm getting a new bed. I am going to look after work tomorrow or Thursday.

I am praying and wishing and hoping on all things that I get this job with APU. I need a new job. I can't survive on working at the bank. I refuse to get a second job because I know I can get a better paying first job! I had two interviews, both went very well and I hope to hear something tomorrow.

I am going to the gym...again. This time, I have lots of my friends who are going so that will help keep me motivated. I am finding healthy adult ways to deal with my stress. After last weekend, I realized I needed to change sometimes and how I dealt with my stress was the first on the list. Drinking away my issues was NOT the answer. I am also boycotting Shepherdstown until Homecoming. I am so over the drama, and being part of it (accidently). I was taught to surround myself with people who are better than me, so that is what I am doing! Racheal Kelly lives like two seconds from me, so I'm looking forward to seeing and spending more time with her I am also looking forward to decorating my own place, August/September is a good time to move because there is alot of things going on this time of year. I'm actually kind of excited for the Holidays. I am going to Texas for Thanksgiving (tentively) and I am going to California for Christmas(also tentively).

I am over missing what I had. I am only going to make positive changes. I am going to work through the rest of my emotional issues. I am going to be a better, positive person. I am going to make myself fix what I need to fix so ultimately I will love myself so I can FINALLY love someone else. I am motivated, and determined, I'm also aware that I will have days where I feel like I'm failing. I am strong willed and I feel like this time I have all of me in this, and I will carry on. :)

I'm also tired of just thinking of the good memories I've had. It doesnt cut it for me. I want more than just memories. I want NEW memories. So, here's whoever God chooses to put in my life. I will love him completely. Or, I will try anyway... it might take a few frogs but I am ready.

I love my life.