Duck, NC.

Taking a stroll down memory lane. Gabe and I broke up at the beginning of October because I thought that's what I wanted. In retrospect no, its not, but it had to happen I guess because it made me appreciate the person he was. It also made my realize how well I had it. And, it made me realize I had some self growth to do. I understand that everything happens for a reason and this was I guess to show me that I do indeed deserve a guy like Gabe. I can function without him, or any other guy for that matter, in my life. Do I like it? No. I dont. He brought peace to my life, along with so many other things. Now though, almost a month later, it's been a long month too, I wish only to have him back. I understand that if it's meant to be it will happen, but I wonder how long I have to wait. I've prolonged the inevitable which is him needing REAL space. I'm so scared to have lost him because of my stupidity that if I gave him the space he wanted and needed, he'd leave and never come back and find some other girl. I'm not clingy, I became clingy because I was scared because I knew what I did was wrong, the breaking up, and I started to hold on really tight like I always do when I do something wrong. I end up pushing away when I dont give it time. Anyways, in all of the babble, I hope in the end that I get another chance because I know that after I fix my self that I will be a much better girlfriend, and friend in general.

The weather today was reflective of myself. It was cloudy and bleak, but had a break through of sunshine. I guess for me that means hope. I also have a new favorite song/artist/composer. George Winston. I've been listening to my 'Canon in D' playlist on Pandora at night. The music has helped me drown out the noise from my roommates. I love the music George Winston plays, he's a pianist. Reflection is my favorite song. I'm currently watching the movie "The Soloist", I've never seen it before. So far, so good. It has Robert Downing, Jr. (he's cute :]).