190

I've written 190 entries. That's not alot considering I've had this thing for like over 2 years? Anyway...

I keep having really weird dreams, that make me feel that they happen and as soon as I wake up I forgot what they were about. I think the last one was about Chris and my cousin Mikey, I can't remember what it was about though, so no asking that.

I am probably going to visit Dad's grave today or tomorrow. He's buried in Sam Houston in San Angelo. This visit has been a good one with family but it's been a helluva ride. Everything that's happened trying to get something for Mikey has just been quite hellish... from what I understand, I get that the wife has control. I just wish family could trump sometimes. Either way, this whole sad experience has got me down here and time off work, which I needed I guess. I'm a workaholic. I have nothing outside of work to really do. I mean excersize and sometimes being social only go so far. I need a hobby. I really might start playing my sax again. I have the reeds, now I just have to dust it off. One day...

I figured out I dont like Orange Patron, YICK. I dont recommend it to anyone either.

I also dont know how fragile I am, I can't tell if I'm just okay? or if it's all the calm before the storm. I wish I knew. I just can't figure it out.