Another Chapter Of My Life: Completed.

"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same."
- Unknown


I guess the beginning is as good as any place to start. I went to Banquet again this year... I probably shouldn't have in all honesty. I went partly because I had a lot of fun the last two years that I've gone and I thought I'd have just as much fun as before, which I did, but I think all of my fun happened earlier in the day, by the time dinner rolled around I was tanked beyond belief and I had had way too much to drink on an empty stomach. I also consumed some Cuervo... I am ending my relationship with him stat. I ended up also telling my ex to die. I dont remember the rest of the conversation. I thought it was a dream but then when I went to talk to him the next day, it wasn't a dream.

Despite everything, I am very thankful that I ever met Gabe. I dont hate him, I only ever said that because I thought it would help me to not care anymore. I'm not a hateful person so it was just silly to think it would help. Something inside me as just given up being angry too. I used to just get pissed off to make myself move on but that doesnt work for me anymore either. So he and I talked Sunday, and hopefully I got it thru to him that he can talk to me, that's all I've ever wanted. I guess the whole seeing him and then him ignoring me was what was giving me mixed signals. I dont think he ever really meant to do that. He's not that kind of guy. In the end, I just didnt want to lose him. And keeping him in my life as my friend would be nice. Of course I'm an optimist and I would hope that maybe sometime down the road that we could try, just try the dating thing again. Maybe after I've gotten my shit together for good and maybe after he sees it, then maybe. I'll probably always love the guy no matter what, but I guess its time for that love to be a friendship kind of love. I can live with that. So, if you're reading this, I hope this makes sense and I hope you understand that I only ever want good things to come from all of this. I do not have any hard feelings and I most certainly only have good memories.

Working and looking for new jobs... that's all I've been doing. I am also giving up drinking until Debo's Wedding. I think it's just better for me if I do... I had one of those, holy shit, I am sips away from becoming an alcoholic, I will not repeat that cycle. And, it's just getting harder to recover and I hate spending a day on the couch...it's rather counterproductive.