I couldn't tell you when it started, or how it even began, but all I know is that I have found myself in a complete whirl wind of chaos and emotion. I dont want to be around anyone, and yet I'm force to be near everyone everyday. I dont want to be around the memories that hurt me, I dont want to let the pain flow, I dont want to acknowledge that there is no choice but to leave. I feel like my world is falling apart so fast that I didn't know what hit me. I can't begin to explain it, but I just can't seem to go on either.
When I find myself in a hole, I sit there. I just sit and stare, until I have the strength to get back up and be better again. I climbing in to that hole. And, I just want to sit. I dont want to be here. I dont want to be around here. I want to get out. I feel so clausterphobic, of the past, of the idiots who have scarred me, and ruined me, tainted me, and misunderstood me, be rid of all the people who never did me any good, who never were there for me when I needed them most, when I just needed to be supported and I was left, from all the bullshit that I keep talking about that I just can't deal with anymore. I want you out of my life, misery. OUT!
